Gone but not forgotten

Thanks for stalking me and I promise I'll be back soon. This has been a really hard semester, tomorrow is the last day of classes, and next week is finals week!
Help me!
Help me!
Help me!

New Choices

I made it through 2 of 4 midterms and am still alive. I consider that a success. I also want to announce it here first. (Well maybe not first). I have been verbally accepted to chiropractic school. This is a major step up from physical therapy school but to be totally honest...I didn't think I would have the grades for chiropractic school, but I do and I am going to go for it! I will be a real doctor instead of just one on paper and the difference in incomes is about 100K a year. Not a bad deal if you ask me. I also think I will be much happier with this. I know that I feel like I have had a 20 ton weight lifted off my shoulders and I am happier and I feel like I have hope back. It is a wonderful thing. I am going with a classmate to the college this weekend to check everything out and I will let you know how that turns out. Right now I am just thankful for my space in life and hoping that my baby brother finds his soon.

The Little Things

It has been a really crappy week and today it rained. I was thinking that I needed to do something nice for myself to help my mental state. (NO comments from ANYONE on that one.) I got onto iTunes and decided to purchase some music. Since I am a poor college student, I go right to the $.99 singles. I took about an hour and bought 2 singles for my iPod. Then I bought an album. Then I forced myself to get out of that evil place. Who would have thought that something like music could get you into so much trouble? For those of you who either don't have iPods or don't visit iTunes, I feel a little bad for you and a little jealous. It is the coolest place ever and they have every kind of music, video, TV show and movie you could ever want. They also have these things called podcasts, (no they are not from outerspace), that are everything you could ever think of, from anything you could ever think of, to listen to. Trust me whe I say that there is something for literally everyone. What, you may ask, is the absolute best thing about iTunes...you can spend a ton of money with just a click and have the best music library EVER, and you can waste an entire evening figuring out what you want!

Why???

I struggled through the required calculus and statistics, (2 semesters of each), and managed to pull off pretty decent grades. I had the biggest party you could ever imagine celebrating the fact that I was all done with math classes and NEVER had to deal with them again. I sold my math books and gave my $100 calculator to my mom. This semester I am taking not one but two classes that have more math in them than my math classes did.

Why does a physical therapist need physics? Why do I need trig. and algebra for human motion? I understand all of the concepts and can tell you exactly what is going on with everything I have learned but I just can't do the math. Has anyone out there ever been to a physical therapist? Did he/she do math? (Hard math!) And can I help it that my mind is better at "other" things and not math. (Did I mention that it was hard math?)

I had to ask my mom for my calculator back.

Perfection

Tonight, with dinner, I had some sliced tomatoes. I don't know about you but I think tomatoes are about the best thing to come out of the ground. I will admit that I like almost every vegetable ever grown but I absolutely LOVE tomatoes. Think about all of the things you can make with them! Sauce, soup, sandwiches, salads, the list goes on. I never get tired of tomato sandwiches, I could probably eat them at all three meals and be happy. Not only can you use them in so many different ways but you don't even have to cook them if you don't want to! Another thing about tomatoes, you don't have to peel them. How great is that?! Probably by now you have gotten the idea that I think tomatoes are pretty great. (You would be correct.) I only have one complaint. How could something that is so perfect be so darn hard to cut? What is with the whole squishing when you cut them thing all about. How are you supposed to keep the seeds inside of the slice after you cut it? I am trying to figure out how something so good can be so hard to prepare. What is up with that? It was almost the perfect food.

More Softball Time...again

Guess what? Softball starts again tomorrow! Practice tomorrow and then double headers every Sunday for the next 6 or 7 weeks. Remember when I talked about softball in the really cold and crappy weather? That was technically summertime. Summer is officially done now and not only was it 94 here today but it is supposed to be about the same this weekend. What the heck is up with that? Sorry, hot, cranky and rambling.

I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts about sleep? It has been a tad bit elusive lately and I have run out of local suggestions. I go to bed at a decent time feeling exhausted, (sorry kjae, no lesbianesque activities), but don't seem to fall asleep for 2 hours or so. Guess what? After hours of school, working, spending time with KC and homework...I am getting a little frustrated not to mention cranky.

I watched Stand Up For Cancer tonight. Finally, something on all three networks that was worth being there. I know that many of you are in the same boat I am and can't even list all of the people you have lost to cancer. Perhaps someone reading this had/has cancer. Call the number and just give $5. Every bit helps and this is a war we have to win. This enemy is killing more people every 2 days than the twin tower bombings did. This isn't a war that needs to split us like the others in the world...it needs all of us to fight together.

Sorry to go off like that but just thinking of the people I have lost makes this near and dear to me.
Thanks for reading.

Tagged??

I don't know what it means to be tagged but I guess I have to answer some questions in order for you to learn more about me. (Is that right?) I'm going with it so here it is...

Four places I go over and over:
Syracuse University
Hank's House
The depths of Nik's mind (Very scary there!)
Barnes and Noble

Four people who e mail me regularly:
Zan
Dad (All forwards!)
Hunter
Mom (Even though we live in the same house...go figure)

Four places I would rather be right now:
Sleeping
Done with college
Anywhere with KC
On a post card type beach

Four TV shows I watch over and over:
Law and Order SVU
NCIS
Jeopardy
I Love Lucy

Four things I have for breakfast:
Dunkin Donut's Iced Late'
Mountain Dew
Cliff Bar
Nothing

Four animals I like best:
Puppies
Kittens
White tigers
Gorillas

Four beaches I have been to:
Ocean City, Md.
Seaside Heights, NJ
Madera Beach, Fl.
Santa Monica Beach, Cal.

I don't know 4 people to tag so I can't keep it going but I finally did one of these. (Did I do it right?)

Softball Wrap-up... sort of

For those of you who are curious about the whole softball thing, the season is finally over. I think I am a good fan. As I have stated before, only the Syracuse mail carriers have anything on me as far as the elements. I don't think anyone yells louder than I do. (Much to KC's chagrin.) I wear the appropriate colors for the appropriate team. I also pride myself on cheering for all of the girls, not just KC. That is my story and I am sticking to it. (For those of you who know her, KC will tell a different story... she is young, don't believe her. My version is the correct one.)

Fall ball will be starting soon. Syracuse really doesn't have a fall. We have summer and winter. (OK we have nice foliage somewhere in the middle) We also have a 50/50 shot of playing in both of those seasons. (I am presently looking for my winter jacket and gloves.)

KC tried out for 2 tournament teams for next year. (If she doesn't make them she will play for the same JD team.) She is excited about them but we haven't heard anything from either team yet. They are supposed to call either way but nothing yet.

Since I am the non-sequiter queen, I will skip to letting you know that all of the sudden my Facebook account has taken off and I now have a run of people trying to "friend" me! I feel pretty good about this. I know it probably says something really not so hot about me that I am happy about "friending" but there is something about that little message saying "XXX wants to be your friend!" It isn't that I don't have real friends, I do, but seeing that little message in my in-box makes me smile. The other thing that makes me smile is that many of the people "friending" me are over 30! I felt like the kid whose siblings tell them they are adopted. I felt like the only person over 40 on all of Facebook. (I know Facebook has millions of people in tons of countries but I swear I was the only middle aged person there for a while!)

KC starts school Thursday. My baby will ride a bus for the first time ever and will be starting school in a different district. I am not worried because KC is probably the most social person I know and can make friends anywhere, and in about 2 minutes flat. She already knows what she is going to wear to the first day of school and where and what time the bus comes. She knows she is going to buy her lunch, NOT bring it and she has all of her school supplies. All and all, KC is way more prepared to start 7th grade than I am for her to start 7th grade!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Restarting

OK, I know it has been a really long time since I wrote but I thought no one was reading. I have since found out that I do have at least one or two readers, (thanks Kjae and Marley), so I will try to write more! Although I have a lot to say, I wanted to start this out with some incredibly useless information/observations from life on the hill. For those of you who aren't from here, that would be Syracuse University.

* Uggs do NOT look good in the winter time with long coats and jeans...they look even worse with mini shorts and tank tops

* People who weigh as much as I do and are shorter than I am should NOT wear tight mini shorts and tight tank tops even if they are young enough to be mine

* When you cut parts of your clothing away so people can see your new tattoos, it is NOT cool

* If every other word that comes out of your mouth is "like", you probably don't know what you are talking about

* Just because I look like I should be a professor doesn't mean I am and NO, I don't know where everything on campus is so pick someone your own age to ask!

* Campus tours suck! I realized that I am not even close to the age of the touring prospective students but I AM the same age as their parents. (Shit.)

* College really is about more than getting plowed every night and everyone doesn't want to hear about you how many times you threw up

More Softball Time

You are looking,,, (well sort of looking) at the mother of one of the District 8 little league, All Star tournament champions! Said champion also made several outs and hit several singles, a double, and a triple! She was also in the local paper but I wouldn't want to brag. BULLSHIT, I want to brag from the rafters and tell everyone in the world. I am so proud!!!

The tournaments continue to be something like... winning 1 or 2 games, getting rained out of the team that we would certainly have crushed, and losing in the first round of single elimination play. We are holding our own though and we will get there. The next tournament is here in North Syracuse and we are hopeful.

Karen ordered a collage from the professional photographers at the last local tournament, after they had been rained on. I am not sure if it is legal for me to post it but I am going to anyway!

OK, KC is in Florida with her godmother. I/we have been looking forward to this for months. KC gets a fun vacatoin with Aunt Mo and mommy gets a vacation from, well being a mommy! I can go out, see friends I haven't seen in a long time, stay out late, sleep in, buy myself something if I so desire and whatever else I want to do, without feeling guilty because I am not with KC or getting her something! Yee haw!

I have been sleeping late and going to bed early but that has been the extent of my "vacation" from mommyhood. Who would have thought I would miss her so much? Who would have thought that 12 hours between a phone call would send me right into a tailspin? Who thought that this would be a vacation!!! Now the side of me with the common sense is really happy that she is having such a grand time and knows that this is something that she will remember for a lifetime. The other side of me says that she either needs to come home right now or I need to go there. Since I am a poor college student, (and even poorer in the summer), she just needs to come home.

I have no idea why I thought this was going to be a vacation for me nor do I understand why I thought this was going to be a freeing experience for me. The good thing is that she is having a wonderful time and she is doing all sorts of really neat things that she may never get the chance to do again. She is forming an even stronger bond with Aunt Mo and she is exerting some independence.

Oh yeah, and she misses me. :)

Softball Time

Well...we have officially survived our first REAL softball tournament! It was a Saturday and Sunday and it was also the debut of this team. The name of the team is J.D. Big Red. I think we covered all of the "tournament" do's and don'ts:

- We packed way too much food
- We forgot umbrellas...and it rained a lot on Saturday
- We purchased the obligatory T-shirt.
- We cheered our little voices away
- We trekked way too far to the bathroom
- We drove over 100 miles in one weekend (and this was IN town)
- We cheered for the 10 pm game on Saturday and for the 7:30 am game on Sunday (not quite as loudly on Sunday)
and we had a blast and could not have been prouder of our softball star!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They only won 1 of 5 games but that does not reflect how well they really played and they should all be incredibly proud...I know I am. :)

(All-stars are next!)

6th Grade Graduation

OK, I admit it. I was not ready for the 6th grade graduation that I am now recovering from. My "little" girl and all of the friends that she has been in school with since 1st grade are now moving out of elementary school. They are all almost teenagers, (they do already act like they are though) and this was the first event where we had to get the dress, the shoes, the manicure and the pedicure. (I thought I had a while yet!) I will admit that she was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined and she was almost taller than me in her shoes...ALMOST!

I am proud of my girl and I can't believe she is moving onto the big kid's school! There is absolutely NO drooling over my girl.

Softball Time

Tonight was a fun team game and KC pitched, all but 2 innings. I know I am the mom but she really was amazing! She struck out more than several girls and made an amazing catch the was hit right to her! Her team made it to the play-offs and she has been asked to be on the all-stars team! Go baby!!!!!!

Here is the rub. Her tournament team has just started practices and they are conflicting with the fun team's games. Not that KC isn't popular but now there are 2 teams fighting over her! I love little kid's sports.

Everything

OK... it has been quite a while since I have posted and for the one or two of you actually read, I hope you are sticking with me and will continue to bear with me! We got a kitten today. Yes, we did already have a dog and a dog who hated the last cat we had but we were very hopeful this time and guess what? The kitten and the dog actually seem to be getting along! Perhaps the maternal instinct in the dog won out this time. The other cat was an adult when the dog chose us as her family and they fought like the proverbial tale. We were possibly correct in guessing that the dog would be better with a kitten. We have our reasons, probably the dog has different ones but the bottom line is that there is fur harmony happening in the house and we are all happy!

Softball, (the fun team), has continued and they have continued to win!! Go team! Actually, the season is almost over and we have only suffered 2 defeats. Both were close and both were to the same team. KC has pitched several times and she is awesome. She has also decided, after playing the infield from age 4 1/2 to age 11, that she now wants to be an outfielder. Since there are several girls on the team who, due to ability, can only play one or two positions, the coach was more than willing to try KC anywhere she wanted to play. She is a good judge of the ball and her arm is about the best on the team. It turns out that she is the best outfielder they have and looks like she has been playing there her entire life. Who knew? Anyway, you all heard about the not so fair weather parents who chose to honk from their cars during the 40 degree days and the rain. It turns out that those same parents also like to sit in their cars when it is 94 degrees out. Since my mother, my 70 something year old neighbor and my almost 94 year old grandfather sit out in the heat, I give those parents no sympathy. Oh yeah, I sit out there too! The tournament team will be starting soon so I will keep you updated.

I am off of school for the summer. For the first summer of my college career I decided to take the summer off. It feels really good to be able to read something I WANT to read instead of something I HAVE to read. I am currently reading The Golden Compass, I will let you know about that when I am done as well.

Today was the first time in 15 years that I missed the Pride Day Parade. Normally I feel it is an obligation to get myself out there for the parade and march and see people I haven't seen for a year and show the world, (well, the Syracuse world), that I am a proud lesbian and a proud lesbian mom. Today I sort of forgot about the parade, had a small stomach bug, and mowed the lawn at my grandfather's house instead. I assure you I am still proud and very out, I guess I am just getting older.

Happy Pride everyone!!!!!

Softball Time

OK, I have nothing but a score for you today. KC's team-6, other team-3. My brain is on total shutdown because it has finally figured out that school is over. School being over apparently means no more thinking to my brain.
Oh yeah...go team!

Softball Time

Tonight was K.C.'s first game of the season for the Fun team. It was about 45 degrees, windy and rainy. It sprinkled through the entire game...except for the 5 minutes that it absolutely poured. Now, some parents go to their cars when it rains and is cold like it was tonight. I consider myself a hard core parent because I stood right out there in all of the elements and suffered. I got wet and cold and didn't feel my nose for 3 hours but I cheered for my kid and even other people's kids. (Who else would cheer for those poor children of the car dwelling parents?)
I am not sure why I feel a sense of pride in the fact that I was not smart enough to come in out of the rain. I even feel a sense of pride in the fact that my child did not complain about playing in the cold and wet. Me! The one who felt there was no pride in natural childbirth. I signed in as Ms. Epidural when I got to the hospital. I had heard the tails of women who went drug free when they gave birth and used this experience as a medal of honor to be proudly displayed to anyone who had ever had, or knew of anyone who had ever had a baby. I thought that wearing labor pain like a medal was the stupidest thing I had ever heard of. Who would be dumb enough to endure that much pain for bragging rights? Definitely NOT worth it...I wanted drugs and I was proud of that!
Hmmmm.
Makes me think twice about my priorities and my definition of stupidity.

Oh yeah...we won. 3-2 in the last inning and K.C. scored the winning run!!!!! Go team!

End of a Junior Era

Today was the last day of classes for SU students. I officially only have final exams left and then I will be a senior. A 44 year old, senior, undergraduate student. WOW. Only 2 more of these semesters at SU and then I have graduate school to look forward to. Did I mention my goal is to graduate before I'm 50?

All Done

I typed until I could type no more. I googled my little heart out. I cut and pasted until my paste went dry. I ran spell check so many times I wore out my pointer and I haven't even cracked a book to study for tests yet... Shit.

Softball Time

This will be a title that you will probably see quite often in the near future. For those of you who don't know, K.C. plays fast pitch softball. She has been playing since she was 4 1/2 and she is quite good! Up until this year, she has only been playing on a recreational league where anyone who wants to play, is the right age, and can afford to pay for it can play. This year she is still playing in the recreational league but she is also playing on a tournament team for the first time. Again, for those of you who have never had the pleasure of trying to figure out children's sports, this is a league where you have to be the right age and you still have to be able to afford to pay for it, (and it is wickedly expensive!), but one has to try out for this kind of team. (I guess that is why it is so expensive...all of those try out times.) Anyway, I had planned to keep you all up to date by separating the 2 teams by color but...yup, you guessed it, they are both red and black. Hmmm. I hesitate to call them the "good" team and the "bad" team because there is a slight chance that one will be a good team and one will be a not so good team and it could get confusing if I have not chosen correctly. (Of course.) I think I will call one the "Fun" team and one the "Serious" team. (I'm pretty sure you will be able to figure out which is which.)

I would not be a good mother if I did not take the time to keep you all updated on the progress, (or lack there of), of both of my daughter's teams so be warned that I am a proud mom and be looking for this blog title again!

"It"

     I realized today that I was laughing and smiling and actually having a good time. Now this may not sound like a big deal to you but have I mentioned it is the end of the semester and I am totally insane? I am trying to figure out if my laughter and good mood is based on the fact that I had a really good weekend and good day...or the fact that I have totally lost it. If I have in fact totally lost it, will I ever find it again, and should I even try to look for it? Perhaps I am better off without it. I have been better off without many things from the past. I can think of a few exes I am better off without. I can think of a few bad decisions I could have lived without. I can also think of a few ex-friends I have lived very nicely without. However, is "It" something I can live without? I am quite certain I am doing well without "It" right now but will I need "It" in the future?  If you lose "It" can it be replaced? 

Nonsequiter of the day: I went to the Breast Center with a friend today. I was very upset that they gave no thought to the fact that some people cannot read. There was not one photo indicating where to find the office...I looked!

Is It Here or Did It Go?

Well, it is a beautiful day in Syracuse today and I am doing my best to at least observe the sunshine through the windows in the student center. I thought I had a good idea a few years ago. I thought I wanted to completely change careers and finally do something I enjoyed instead of something that made me miserable. I decided exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up, (finally at the age of 41), and I gathered up all of my courage and went back to school, full-time. Now, at that time I was so proud of my decision and although I knew it would be a lot of work, I felt I was up to the challenge. I continue to feel that I am up to this challenge, 3 years later...until the end of the semester arrives.

"What the hell was I thinking" are the first words that usually come to mind this time of year. After that usually come "Am I crazy?" Both followed by the most colorful language I can think of. Today happens to be one of those end-of-semester type days and I am once again questioning my sanity. If anyone has any opinion on this subject, please feel free to comment because I personally feel like my sanity has completely left the building.

My Dear Sister

For those of you who don't know, the only reason I thought it was a good idea at all to start a blog was because I love my sister's so much. How silly of me to think that I could be as philosophical and humorous as she is!!! Check out the link to her page..."Who Am I" if you want to laugh your butt off!!!!!!!

Finally!!!

Well, it is finally sunny and warm in Syracuse!! (For those of you who are not familiar with Syracuse...this will be one of our 20 days of sun this year.) Anyway, KC and I got outside and took a great walk with the dog! We went to Onondaga Lake Parkway and walked with all of the other walkers, bikers, joggers, boarders, bladers etc. It was amazing. The dog, KC and I all loved it! We were even able to take off our sweatshirts and be in short sleeves! (Nothing short of a miracle this time of year!) 

We did this with lots of homework looming over my head. Of course this is the end of the semester and literally EVERYTHING is due but who could pass up 65 degrees and sunshine??

Changing Times

     Well, yesterday my nephew turned 18. When I turned 18, it was the ultimate birthday. I was finally an adult! I could finally vote. I could gamble, and most importantly...I was legal to drink alcohol! Now, at this point in my life, all of those things have lost their appeal, except the voting thing. (It still feels wonderful to take part in this American privilege.) Anyway, I was talking to some people around my nephew's age, and also to my nephew and the general consensus about turning 18 today was that it felt pretty much like being 17 except now the guys could get drafted. 

No wonder our kids are depressed!

Internal Thermometers

OK, I know that I don't often wear the same styles as the people around me. Let's face it, I'm just a tad older than most of the crowd I hang with all day. I also don't really give a crap if I am making a fashion statement. (At my age and my proportions, the only statement I ever make is MIDDLE-AGED FAT WOMAN anyway.)



I am going somewhere with this folks. Most of you know that I live in Syracuse, NY. Most of you also know that I go to Syracuse University, which sits on the highest hill in Syracuse, NY. OK, today it was 40 degrees out and raining like a son of a gun. I thought I dressed appropriately in my jeans, a long sleeved sweat shirt, and I figured I was pushing it with a very light rain coat. (40 is not that warm when there are 40 MPH winds accompanying.) I saw people today wearing mid-winter parkas, with zippers up higher than the sky, full-faced ski masks, winter boots, ear muffs and scarves. I also saw people in short sleeved shirts, shorts, open toed sandals and even sun glasses. (The sun has gone south for the winter and spring here.) Am I crazy or did someone really screw up with the internal thermometers? Who is in charge of setting those suckers?

How to avoid studying for a test...

I have been trying to study today but there is so much to be done.

Can I help it if creating a blog os more important than studying for anatomy and physiology?

Can I help it if looking at the computer is more fun that looking at body parts?

OK, this is my first try at this blogging thing but i do feel like I have made a little progress...

we shall see.